Sixth Entry - Hiding Maximus

I walked back to the slaves' quarters as in a dream. The guard who escorted me tried to take me by my arm but he flinched at my face, probably thinking that my swollen, bruised lips and exhausted features were proof enough that the Spaniard soldier had used me hard. Too hard even for a seasoned whore.

Feeling the same curious detachment I had experienced earlier when I had nearly slit my wrists, I put one foot in front of the other and focused on walking, stubbornly pushing aside my battered feelings and the inner turmoil unleashed by a Roman general. With an ease born of long practice, I pushed everything aside and just focused on going ahead. Doing this was the only way I had been able to survive day after day and now I was doing it again, not on my behalf but his, for Maximus' safety was all that counted.

We arrived at the entrance door and the guard waited for me to get inside, then turned on his heels and returned to his post at Maximus' tent, allegedly to protect him but he and his companions were nothing but his jailers ... and probably his designated murderers. Once inside the slave's quarters I found myself alone for the first time in hours, silently looking at the place where I had lived during the last year, the quarters I had run as a Roman matron runs her husband's home. But there was no husband and this was but a false home, as fake as it could be for it was a brothel. A private brothel. Nothing more. I looked at my surroundings as if it was the first time I saw them. They were the same I had left earlier that evening after scenting my hair and body with myrrh and dressing myself in a fine white silk tunic. Yet they were completely different and utterly strange to me. Or perhaps they were the same and the stranger was me.

Despite being a slave, I had always lived surrounded by luxury and comfort, everything around and about me carefully devised to enhance my own beauty and grace. It had always felt natural to live like this, to have lavish baths, expensive perfumes, fine tunics and even jewels ... But, suddenly, I knew I couldn't stand anything around me anymore. I knew that I could not live another day as I had lived every one of them. And with the same finality I knew that I would never go to another man but Maximus ... if he'd have me.
"Julia!"
Startled, I turned around to see Eugenia hurriedly coming towards me, a look of worry in her beautiful face. "Oh, Julia! What happened?
"I'm fine, Eugenia," I said with a faint smile. She was clearly relieved to see that I was not hurt but after looking closely at my face, she frowned again. "Where have you been?" she asked.
"At General Maximus' tent," I whispered, forcing myself to move. There was no time to waste and many things to do if I was going to help Maximus and, in order to do that, I needed Eugenia's help.
"The Spanish General?" she asked "You've been with him all night?" I nodded and she smiled, delighted. "And to think that I was so worried! Come, Julia! You have always been the lucky one! To get such a young, handsome man for a change! Is he a good lover?"
Pushing away her well-intentioned words and the pain they unleashed, I gripped her forearms. "Listen to me, Eugenia," I whispered urgently. "We have to talk. The others are sleeping?"
"Yes. Julia, what ..." she started but I silenced her with a shake. "Shut up and listen!" I said none too gently. "Eugenia, do you want revenge? Do you want to make Cassius pay?"
Her face went blank, her eyes dull. She remained silent for a moment. Then she whispered, "Why do you do this to me?"
Her voice sounded strangled, her tone dejected.
I shook her again.
"Answer me, Eugenia! Yes or no? Do you want to make Cassius pay?"

As I said, Eugenia was older than me but I had always been the one to comfort her, the one who listened to her confessions, her hopes and dreams. And dreams she had aplenty for she craved for a man to love her, a little cabin in the countryside and babies. "Lots of babies," she used to say in her soft, musical voice. She dreamed about being sent to a man who was different, a man who'd come to love her, make her free, marry her and give her those babies she wanted so much ... a man like Maximus. I had listened to her dreams time and again and kept mine to myself, buried so deep inside my soul that I didn't know I also had dreams ... and that they were not so different from Eugenia's. Not at least until that night.

And I had been with Eugenia when precautions had failed and she got pregnant. She managed to hide her condition for some months, Turia's illness making her not so vigilant. But eventually she had noticed her swollen breasts and rounded belly and demanded that Andreas, who was still the household physician, rid her of the baby. Andreas said that she was too far along
and that it was dangerous so Turia withdraw her order, not wanting to risk such a prized piece of flesh and then have to face Cassius' rage. And Eugenia had been so happy, so naively convinced that she'd be able to keep the baby!

I was but fifteen when it happened and followed the progress of her pregnancy with a mix of wonder and fear, astonished by the changes in her body, ecstatic when she allowed me to touch her belly and feel the baby roll under my hands. I was with Eugenia when her labor pains started. And with them, sudden understanding dawned in her mind and she knew that it was the end for they'd take the baby from her as soon as it was born. She tried desperately to hide the pains but couldn't go against nature and in the end the midwife came to take charge. When she ordered me out, I refused to move and remained with Eugenia through the whole ordeal.
After hours of labor, the baby came into the world, a beautiful baby boy. We laughed and wept in wonder and disbelief at the miracle we had just witnessed while the woman dealt with the afterbirth, more interested in it than in the girl on the cot for she'd sell it to some rich woman for beauty purposes for a fee higher than that she was paid for her skills...
But our laughs were short lived for the midwife took the baby from Eugenia's arms and quickly left the room ... She threw herself from the cot howling like a wounded animal and I ran after the midwife only to be stopped at the door by one of the villa's guards who roughly pushed me inside and barred the door. It was early evening and we were left alone. I took care of Eugenia the best I could and we spent the whole night in sleepless silence, holding each other's hands so hard that in the morning they were swollen and aching. At dawn, the door was opened and I was ordered out while Andreas came into theroom with an unreadable face.

I didn't see Eugenia for over a month. When she came back to our section of the villa, she acted as if nothing had happened. She never spoke again about her baby but I knew she thought about him every day and dreamed about him every night. I heard her weeping when she thought I was asleep and heard her mumble lullabies as she slept. And I knew she wanted revenge. She wanted it as badly as I.
Eugenia was chalk faced, her eyes unreadable, her breath uneven. I knew I was hurting her badly but somehow it didn't matter. I needed her help and was ready to do whatever it took to have it. Vaguely I asked myself where this cold, hard, unrelenting Julia had come from ... but perhaps I had always been like this and I didn't know as I hadn't known how much I wanted to die, or that despite the hopelessness of my situation I had dreams and my dreams were the same as any woman's. Perhaps it had taken that night of turmoil and truth, of pleasure and pain to awaken this Julia, a Julia who also knew how it felt to be cared for, warm and safe. A Julia who knew that she couldn't go on being a whore.

"What do you want me to do?" asked Eugenia, her eyes now gleaming with a cold fire, her back straight, her chin firmly set.
"I want you to help me help General Maximus kill Cassius," I said. She flinched but held my gaze.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Yes, Eugenia. I'm sure. He asked me to help him." I put up a hand to stop her and added in a hurried whisper, "He came here to stop Cassius from seizing the throne. The emperor is on his way and will arrive soon. But Cassius fears Maximus and wants to have him killed. I will hide him here and help him get into Cassius' tent. Will you help me?"
Eugenia shook her head in disbelief, "Julia, what are you talking about? You trust this man, a man you barely know?"
"Yes, I trust him!" I snapped back, "I trust him and I will help him. He's promised to make us free ...."
It was time for Eugenia to grip my arms and shake me. "Julia, he's a man. He's handsome and young, I know, but he's no different from the others. He took you at the party and then had you brought to his tent to go on servicing him. He used you the same as all the other men!"
"He's different and I will help him," I hissed. "If you are with me it'll be a lot easier. If you don't ... I'll do it nevertheless. Are you with me or not? If not, at least move away and let me do what I have to do!" I saw Eugenia hesitate and went after her as mercilessly as a she-wolf goes after her prey, "If you don't want to do it for me," I said never taking my eyes from hers, "at least do it for Julius!".
Eugenia blanched.
"How do you know?" she demanded in a low, rough voice. "How do you know my son's name?"
"Because I hear you repeat it in your sleep every time I have to share my lodgings with you!"
Eugenia flinched as if I had hit her. Then, she spoke in a flat voice.
"What do you want me to do?"
"General Maximus will be here soon. I'll open the back door and wait for him. I'll hide him in my room. In the meantime, youmwake up Honora and Aelia. They are the smartest. Tell them what's going on. When the others wake up, we will have them help us. Maximus will tell us what to do"
"And what if anyone of them refuses to help or gets scared?" asked Eugenia.
"We knock her down. Now go! I have to open the door and bring him in."
I pushed Eugenia out of my way and headed to the back entrance, but she caught me by my arm and swirled me around. "I named him after you, Julia," she said, her eyes bright with unshed tears, her lips twitching painfully as she tried to smile. I nodded and taking an oil lamp from the near table I went my way. At my back, Eugenia said quietly, "You know, Julia? If I didn't knew you better, I'd say you've fallen in love with General Maximus."
Poor Eugenia, so simple and so sweet! She was the closest to a female friend I ever had yet she never really knew me. She didn't knew me at all. No one really knew me. Not even myself. Not at least before that night. And Maximus.

I didn't have to wait long. He arrived on time, sword in hand, his face an unreadable mask, a man with a mission far detached from the one who had kissed me so hard that the coppery taste of blood still lingered in my mouth. Without a word, I barred the back entrance, guided him to my bedroom and closed the door behind us. "You can remain here," I said, avoiding his eyes.
"When it's time, I'll take you to Cassius' tent."
"What have you said to the other women?" he whispered, also avoiding looking directly at me.
Before I could answer, there was a soft knock at the door and Eugenia entered the room. She stopped when she saw Maximus, then looked at me. "Maximus, this is Eugenia. She'll help us and take care of everything here while we ... while we go to Cassius' tent," I explained.
Maximus nodded. "Thank you, Eugenia," he said in his deep, rumbling voice. "The emperor will be here soon, but I don't know when. I have to stop your ...," he hesitated, then corrected himself, "... I have to stop Cassius. When Marcus Aurelius arrives, all of you will be freed. You have my word."
Eugenia bowed her head and whispered, "The gods bless you, sir". Then, turning to me she added, "It's done, Julia. Honora and Aelia will tell the others when they wake up ..."
"Julia," Maximus went on, "I talked to Gallienus, my master of the horse, and made the arrangements for my men to support me. But I need to know if Cassius leaves the camp and when he returns. Can any one of your friends or your maids act as a go-between?"
Eugenia and I exchanged a glance. "Your maid ..." started Eugenia but I shook my head.
"No, Rufa's just a little girl scared of her own shadow. No, it has to be one of the women ..."
Eugenia nodded. "I'll do it," she said in a firm voice.
"Are you sure?" asked Maximus. "It's going to be dangerous ..."
She looked at Maximus and smiled. "Don't worry, general," she said. "I won't fail you." Silently, she left the room.
There was nothing to do but wait till he could act ... or till they came looking for him. Without a word, I went to one of my trunks and took a lavender silk tunic and a pair of sandals. Then, I turned to Maximus. "Rest for a while," I said quietly. "I'll be in the next room with Eugenia". Maximus nodded and I left him.

Among the many trials we have to face in our lives, waiting is one of the worst. Hours passed slowly, uneventfully but the tension inside the slaves' quarters was nearly unbearable. Only exerting ourselves we could maintain a semblance of normalcy. We desperately needed to know what was happening in the camp but couldn't risk to go around asking questions. Aelia and Honora managed to go out and returned with good news: Cassius had gone riding with his escort and the guards had not yet noticed that Maximus was missing.
But later, when Eugenia came back from her meeting with Gallienus, we knew we were in trouble. "The guards have not raised the alarm but they are searching for you, General!" said Eugenia. "The officer said that they managed to knock two of the guards out and have them replaced them with your men but the other two are coming here!"
Maximus and I exchanged a glance. "The bathing room," I said and Maximus retreated there while I conferred with the women. Then, I went into the bath and closed the door.

"Do you know how to swim?"
Maximus eyes widened. "What?" he asked. "Of course I know how to swim! I'm a soldier!" He sounded offended.
"Lucky you!" I snapped back. "I don't! If I fall in a river or a pond, I'll drown!" I went to the cupboard and started searching inside it.
"What has it got to do with Cassius?"
Without paying attention I took a small vial and a bowl of fresh pink rose petals and went to the bath tub. Placing the bowl on the rim, I poured the oil from the vial into the water. A scent of roses filled the room.
"Take off your clothes!" I ordered him briskly.
Now Maximus not only sounded offended but also looked outraged. "Julia, are you crazy?" he demanded.
"No, general," I snarled. "And I'm not planning to ravish you, just trying to save your god-like body! Now, move over and take off your clothes!"
"Julia, what ..."
I turned around to look at him with an angry, hard gaze.
"You're hiding in the bath tub, General! Under the water! You just can't get inside fully dressed. Now hurry up! I have to hide your boots, tunic and sword .... And pray to whatever gods you favor that the guards are as dumb as they come!"
He remained quiet for a moment, looking at me as if he had never seen me before. Then, he started unlacing his boots. I went to the door and called Eugenia. She came immediately but I barred her entrance. "I'm hiding General Maximus in the bath tub. I need you to hide his clothes, boots and sword. Hide them on your bodies: we cannot risk the guards ransacking the place and finding them," Eugenia nodded. I turned around to find Maximus by my side. He gave me his boots and I trusted them into Eugenia's hands but when I reached for his sword he shook his head no.
"Maximus, the sword and the tunic! Now!"
"I'm not leaving my sword! If they find me, at least I want a chance to go down fighting!"
"If you don't hurry up you won't have any chance!"
"No," he said adamantly.
"Maximus, I know what a sword does to human flesh and I don't plan to get wounded!"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm getting into this bath tub with you, General! And I don't want my body slashed to ribbons!"
"You what?!"
I gripped his forearms and tried to shake him ... I should have tried to shake the columns of Jupiter's temple. "Maximus, they'll search the place! Our only chance to have them out of the bathing room quickly enough for you not to reveal yourself is if they find me bathing. Now give me the sword!"
After a brief hesitation, Maximus nodded and mumbling, "Take care," gave me the dangerous weapon which I passed to Eugenia while hurriedly explaining the other women how I wanted them to act when it came to giving me the signal to have Maximus under the water. Then I turned around only to find Maximus still dressed. Before I could yell at him, he put up a hand to stop me.
"The less they have to hide, the lesser the risk. I can survive a damp tunic," he said as he smiled faintly and it was my time to nod.
After some final instructions to the women, I closed the door and went to a nearby table, took a couple of ivory combs and quickly coiled my waist long hair. Maximus looked at me with the mix of wonder and puzzlement all men's eyes show when it comes to looking at women going through the magic of our toilettes. Then, fixing my eyes on Maximus' I opened my tunic's shoulder brooches and let it fall to the floor, the lavender silk pooling at my feet. I was not wearing an under tunic, just my scant undergarments which I also shed, my eyes never leaving his.

When I was sixteen, shortly before leaving Rome, I was sent to a senator's fourteen-year- old, painfully shy son and was ordered to teach him how to be a man for his father was worried about his virility. The boy was a sweet, timid thing, soft spoken and very scared both of me and the business at hand. He looked at me in wonder while I undressed, blushing and embarrassed but definitively hungry for the woman in front of him. Although he was no shy boy but a man and a very virile one, Maximus now had the same look as the senator's son. I saw the Roman general struggle not to take his eyes from my face and allow them to roam down my naked body. And I saw him loose.

I'm slender yet curvaceous, my skin creamy and flawless. With my hair coiled nothing obscured Maximus' sight. All my life I had been endlessly praised for my beauty but I had never been specially proud of it for it was my beauty what damned me to a life of whoring. I was so used to the effect my beauty had on men that it barely registered anymore. But seeing it on Maximus face was different. Completely different.
And arousing.

Standing naked in front of him I felt proud. As proud as a woman can be. I felt beautiful, really beautiful. And powerful. For his heated gaze was not one of mere lust but that of a male acknowledging a female and thus what makes him male. It was a tribute to my femininity for he was looking at me as a woman, a real, whole woman and not as a beautifully modeled piece of flesh to covet, use and discard. Instead, his eyes caressed me and I felt warm, so deliciously warm as if he had taken me in his arms and was gently loving me. As gently as I had always wanted to be loved. As gently as no man had ever loved me.
"After you, General."
Maximus flinched and then nodded, walked to the tub and got into the water. He turned to me and stretched out his hand. As in a dream, I padded towards him and for a brief, fleeting moment I felt like a virgin bride going to her marriage bed. Maximus took my hand in his and gently helped me get into the bath tub but when I turned to face him my bare breasts lightly caressed his forearm.
Fire burned from the point of contact and spread along my body. I heard him gasp and his fingers tightened around mine, the same fire burning in his eyes. The world and its dangers vanished and for a brief, fleeting moment it was only the two of us. It was only a beat yet it seemed to last forever. Only a beat and it was over.
Moving in unison, still holding our hands, still looking into each other's eyes, we knelt face to face in the bath tub. The water was deliciously warm, the perfumed oil turning it into liquid silk, the scent of roses strong and sensual.
Although it was big tub, there was no room enough for both of us to be comfortable, not that comfort was a priority. I sat down and bent my knees to better accommodate. He tried to back away but there was nowhere to go and he looked at me apologetically as our bodies touched under the water.
"How long can you remain submerged?" I asked just to distract both of us of the disturbing, mutual contact.
"Long enough," he said with a little, twisted smile. "Being a good swimmer got me my place in the army when I was fourteen: I nearly crossed the Danube".
"Good," I said "When the women raise the alarm, you go down and I will pour the rose petals over the water to obscure the surface. There's going to be a ruckus and I will get out of the bath tub. Don't pay attention, just remain hidden and don't grasp me: I need to be able to get out swiftly or they'll suspect. We will take you out when they are gone."
Maximus nodded and struggled again to accommodate his big frame. There seemed to be no way to keep our bodies from touching and when Maximus tried to avoid sliding on the wet marble, his fingers brushed my legs.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled as he unsuccessfully tried to move away from me.
Sorry?
Nobody had said, "I'm sorry," to me since the senator's fourteen-year-old son became a man in my arms. And now Rome's greatest general was saying to me that he was sorry to have touched me accidentally. That he had meant no disrespect to me, no disrespect to a naked whore who had gotten so aroused on his behalf and so carried by her own arousal that she had shamelessly begged to be taken by him and climaxed despite his refusal to oblige. I felt like laughing. I felt like crying. I felt like taking Maximus in my arms, pressing his head against my breasts and caressing it, as I had caressed the boy's ... but I knew the guards had arrived for I heard the screams of the women abusing them as they entered our quarters. I heard our beds being overturned and our cupboards pulled away from the walls and crashing to the floor. I tensed and crouched lower in the large tub, my knees bent to my chest, my eyes fixed on Maximus. The noise became louder as the guards closed in despite the
efforts to keep them at bay. I bit my lip and nodded to Maximus. He took a deep breath and went down and I hastily poured the rose petals over the surface of the water.

The guards burst through the door twisting to avoid the grasps of the women who pursued them. I couldn't but admire their performance as they clawed at their faces, pulled at their clothing and hair and kicked their shins. As one of them reached the bath tub, I covered my breasts with my hands and angrily demanded, "Get out of here you oaf! Can't you see I'm bathing?"
"Where is he?" the guard screamed, a maddened look in his eyes. Curiously, I didn't feel afraid but exhilarated. Powerful. Invincible. "Where is whom?" I asked in a cold, hard voice, my toes lightly touching Maximus' hair.
"General Maximus! He was with you last night and now he's gone!"
"You idiot!" I yelled. "You escorted me here yourself last night and he obviously was not with me!"
He lunged for me grabbing my arm and hauling me from the water, rivulets pouring down my naked body as the rose petals clung to my glistening skin. Eugenia, Honora and the others immediately moved between me and the tub, wrapping me in a large, soft towel as they scowled at the guards.
"Well? You have pulled me from my bath. Now what?" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "Do you want me to show you our quarters again, guard? To prove to you again that General Maximus is not here?"
For a moment, the guard just stood there, hesitating, so I grabbed his arm and pushed him towards the sleeping quarters. I didn't know how much time had passed but I was sure it must seemed like eternity to a man under the water.
Unfortunately, the guard seemed to have recovered his wits.
"Not so fast," he said as he gazed around the bathing room. Despite its luxury, it was small and there was obviously nowhere for a man to hide but he poked at curtains and piles of towels anyway before allowing me to lead him outside. Forcing myself not to look back while getting out of the room was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Most of the women and the other guard followed us but Eugenia, Honora, Furnillia and Ariadna silently fell back and out of the corner of my eye I saw them close the door .

I remained with the guards while they ransacked our bedrooms again. They were crazed and took out their frustration on our belongings, spilling our clothes, stabbing the cushions and breaking jars of perfume and unguents. I remained coldly aloof while they went on with destruction, indicating a terrified Rufa to bring me a robe. When it was obvious that they had found no clue of Maximus' presence or whereabouts, they turned to me.
"And now what, soldier?" I asked in a cold, hard voice. I saw murder in their eyes and the other women also saw it.
They closed around me.
"You better think twice," I said in the same hard voice and with the same aloofness. "I'm a property of general Cassius, a very valuable property ... By the way, all of this is also his property ..." With my hand I indicated what was left of our quarters. The guard closest to me pressed his lips together, then turned on his heels and left, closely followed by his companion. With a sigh, I hastily put on my robe and ran to the bathing room.
I found Maximus still in the bath tub, on his knees, breathing hard, his forehead pressed on his arms as they rested on the rim, Eugenia and Honora by his side. They had placed a towel over his dripping hair and draped another around his shoulders. I rushed to him and crouched by his side removing the towel and gently stroking his head while murmuring, "You're safe, Maximus. We did it. You're safe, my ..."
I stopped myself just in time not to call him "my love" but I didn't need to see his face to know that he had heard the words as clearly as if I had voiced them. Words I had never used before. Words I have not used again since that day.

I placed my hands under his upper arms, steadying him as he stood up, water cascading off his soaked tunic and puddling on the red tile floor. A dozen hands reached out to help him and Ariadna handed him a cloth soaked in clean water which he gratefully pressed to his eyes as he stood knee deep in the tub, his soaked tunic molded to his muscular body, pink rose petals clinging to the red wine wool.
Maximus smelled like wet wool and roses and when he opened his eyes they were bloodshot.
He stepped over the edge of the tub, taking care not to slip, looked at me and smiled his boyish smile, "My thanks, m'Lady, for allowing me to share your bath but next time go a little easier on the perfumed oils. They sting the eyes like the blazes!" I couldn't help but smile him back as the others stifled their giggles, all of them openly admiring his masculine form.
"They're gone?" he asked.
The room was a forest of striking women surrounding a striking, wet man. All female heads bobbed an affirmative answer in unison.
"Thank you, ladies. You soon shall be free women". He turned to me, all playfulness gone and forgotten, all general again,
"Julia, get dressed and come with me ... wear something alluring." This said and obviously dismissing me, he wrung whatever wetness he could out of his tunic, slipped on his boots and took his sword. A moment later, Aelia rushed into the room laughing. "I watched the guards leave," she giggled. "They're as white as sheets and do you know where they went?"
"Where?" asked the women simultaneously.
"Right out of the camp. I swear! They left through the gate and started running for the woods on the other side. I watched them!"

Relieved, the beautiful slaves surrounding Maximus burst into laughter and the general himself couldn't resist a small smile of triumph.
Nobody noticed that I was not laughing.
Instead, I was trying to steel myself against the wave of bitterness and resentment that had swept over me when I heard Maximus ordering me to dress adequately to play my part ... the part of the whore.
I bit my lip and turned around.
Still unnoticed, I left the bathroom fiercely fighting my tears.