Third Entry - Meeting General Maximus

No matter how long I live, I will never forget the first time I saw him. As I said, we were in Moesia, near the Black Sea. When I say "we" I'm talking about me and also about Honora, Eugenia, Eunice, Ariadna and the other slaves brought there by Cassius in order to be once more useful pawns in his power plays, our flesh the currency to pay for the support of the officers and politicians he so badly needed to fulfil his ambition.In the years that had passed since I was sent, for the first time, to the bed of one of the men who played a major role in his schemes, Cassius' ambition had grown considerably. For years he had intrigued, bribed and schemed to strengthen his position in the army and spread his influence between the politicians, patiently preparing himself for his final move. And in the summer of the fourteenth year of the reign of the Divine Imperator Caesar Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus, he took a giant step by declaring himself emperor on the alleged death of the man, who had not established a formal succession after his adoptive brother's death but left instead an underage son -- Lucius Commodus Antoninus -- and a widowed daughter -- the Lady Lucilla --, who had been married to the late Lucius Verus and had a little son.

Over the years, I had heard rumors, gossip and, here and there, pieces of important information about Cassius' plans. But slaves and whores learn quickly to keep their secrets and those of their masters and I was both slave and whore and knew better than to ask questions so I kept to myself. Nevertheless, I was troubled by Cassius' decision to seize the throne for, although barely literate, I knew enough of Roman history and politics to know that he couldn't simply march to Rome with his legions and expect to be crowned without resistance. We were on the brink of serious trouble and, when their masters are in trouble, slaves pay dearly. After the self-proclamation, we remained in Moesia. The camp was reinforced and the legion was alert. Cassius dispatched couriers to different parts of the empire and was expecting the support of other commanders. His spies informed him that Rome was in an uproar, the senate divided between those who wanted to declare a new emperor -- either him or their own candidates -- and those who demanded prudence and wanted to send envoys to the East to confirm Marcus Aurelius' alleged death before taking a decision about the empire's future. To put it in other words, we were on the brink of a bloody civil war.

In the meantime, life seemed to go on as usual but I knew that Cassius had swiftly rid himself of some officers -- among them two centurions -- who had refused to swear allegiance to him as their new emperor. Me, and the other female slaves,
remained in our lodgings which were comfortable and had their own baths, as it was not possible for us to share those of the soldiers, and busied ourselves with our duties. There were maids to attend us, lesser slaves not beautiful enough to follow our steps, who cleaned and cared for our clothes, meals and baths and who helped us dress and do our hair. Since our arrival to Moesia, somehow, I had become the mistress of the slaves' quarters and was the one who
gave the orders and kept everything running. I was the one they called when there was a problem or someone was not feeling well, the one the other women went to when afraid or worried or in distress.

My leadership role did not go unnoticed to Cassius, who praised me for running his little household so efficiently and said once more that I was "the best that I ever bred" truly convinced that I must be grateful for his words. As usual, I smiled sweetly and went ahead, burying in my heart the dangerous and ever-increasing resentment that I had started to feel very early in my whoring days but had mastered in such a way that nobody -- sometimes not even me -- was aware of it. It was good that running the household kept me busy, because the days in Moesia were long and uneventful and inactivity would have frayed my nerves as there was no library to feed my learning and I had read and re-read the few scrolls and pieces of paper I have been able to squirrel among my belongings at least a hundred times. In the long, steamy hours of the local summer, I'd had gone mad if I'd hadn't had to deal with petty affairs like soap supplies or a quarrel between two spirited women.

But I'm straying from my story. As I said, cocooned in his camp near the Black Sea, Cassius awaited the arrival of his messengers carrying dispatches from his friends and spies and also awaited for trouble for he was smart enough to
realize that, even if the emperor had really died, he would not be the only one trying to seize the power. And trouble came sooner than he expected, in the form of a Roman General, who arrived at the gates under the golden eagle of Rome and flying the banners of Felix III legion, riding a gleaming black stallion and surrounded by his cavalry.

I didn't see him arrive but heard the excited chatter of the women and the soldiers. And later that afternoon, two guards came to take me to Marcellus' tent. He was the senior tribune, Cassius' legate, a hard and unforgiving man in his mid-forties, his shortly cropped gray hair like an iron helmet crowning features which seemed carved in granite. I was not surprised by his summons, for although I was not his favorite among the slaves, he had ready access to us on behalf of his position among Cassius' entourage and his trust. What surprised me was that instead of bedsport he wanted to talk. He said that I was to deliver a very secret and important message to the visiting officer, General Maximus Decimus Meridius. The man was the powerful Commander of the Armies of the North, Marcus Aurelius' favorite general, and that night Cassius was going to give one of his famous parties, General Maximus being the guest of honor.Marcellus said that, during the party, I was to attract General Maximus, keep him away from the other women and deliver the message he made me repeat until he was sure I had understood it. He didn't add that I was also supposed to do whatever was necessary to satisfy the general, no matter what the man's pleasure was but, of course, that was not necessary. Instead, he surprised me again when he told me that if I failed in my mission, our lives -- mine, his and the visiting officer's -- would be in serious danger. He added that General Maximus
Decimus Meridius was not a native Roman of high class like Cassius but the son of a humble Spaniard farmer adopted into a family of the senatorial class who, like emperor Trajan, had risen to his high station in life because of his soldiering skills and the favour of his emperor, to whom he was fiercely loyal. Marcellus also added, with a small smile that didn't touch his eyes, that the general was not a sophisticated man and probably would be shocked by that night's debauchery but he trusted in my ability to accomplish the mission. Although in the past I had been ordered to deliver messages or let some information fall in the ears of a selected man, this was highly unusual. Marcellus was very close to Cassius, had helped him to get rid of those officers
who opposed him and, most of all, the contents of the message were very disturbing... I thought that perhaps Marcellus knew something more about the alleged death of the emperor, was becoming apprehensive about his role in Cassius' schemes and wanted to be in the powerful general's good graces. In any case, it meant problems. Big problems. The kind of problems I had learned so carefully to avoid.

I prepared myself for the night with great care. I scented my body and my waist-length hair -- the hair that I now wear coiled as it befits a decently married woman -- with the essence of mhyrr I so much love, and dressed in one of my finest tunics made of white silk and gold thread but, as always, I avoided the heavy makeup so loved by the other women.

As I was getting ready, I slid a hand into the bottom of one of my chests and fingered my secret treasure. It was a silver handed dagger that I had stolen on my way out of the house of the senator who had taken my virginity, when the blind rage that I had later mastered so carefully erupted for a moment and lead me to think of either stabbing the next man who tried to touch me or of stabbing myself in order to avoid the touch of any other man. But somehow I had steeled myself and gone on living. Nevertheless, I had kept the dagger hidden among my belongings for all those years and now and then I felt compelled to touch it, to feel its weigh in my hand, to get comfort in that cold piece of gleaming metal. It was as if I knew that sooner or later I would use it. What remained to be seen was who'd be in the the blade's receiving end.

I arrived at the tent where the revelry was taking place earlier than the visiting general, and Marcellus immediately claimed me. Being the highest ranking officer after Cassius and General Maximus, no man dared to take me away. Marcellus kept me in his arms until it was time to go after him and sent me in his direction with a slight push.

Obviously uncomfortable with the debauchery as Marcellus had anticipated, the austere Spaniard soldier was leaving the tent and I barely caught him when he was about to lift the filmy curtain hanging near the entrance."General?" I called from behind "Not enjoying the party?"He turned briefly in my direction. "No," he said as he started to turn away but with an ease born of years dealing with men, I grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

General Maximus was about four inches taller and ten years older than me, which meant he was in his late twenties, a very young age for a man of his high rank. He was a big, strapping man, his tanned skin tautly stretched over the heavy muscles put in his arms and legs by a life of riding and soldiering. His torso was covered by an ornamental leather cuirass but nevertheless showed the same promise. His hair was dark and shortly cropped as befitted a Roman militar and his carefully trimmed beard covered his firm chin and framed his beautifully sculpted mouth, a mouth slightly feminine and a little out of place in such a virile face but that somehow managed to enhance even more his handsome features. But what mesmerized me and sent shivers down my spine were his sparkling blue eyes and the heated rumble of his deep voice.

Using my momentum, I pressed my breasts against his cuirass while my hand sneaked around his neck as I allowed my lips to brush his ear. "I have messages for you, sir" I said and I drew back and smiled into the general's startled face. He looked into my eyes and then his heated gaze roamed over my face and my body. I was used to men looking at me with undisguised lust but his was not a lustful gaze: it was one of wonder, his look that of a man who finds himself at a loss for words. In another situation --and with another man -- I'd had been on the brink of an easy seduction but, instead, I was on the brink of many discoveries, both about him and myself, discoveries that would change my life forever and in the end led me to write this journal. I smiled again and whispered, "Come and sit down, General. I noticed you didn't eat any food. Later we can be more
private."
He refused to move. "What's your name?" he asked, his Latin flawless despite being provincial by birth and of low origins.
"Julia."
"Julia," he repeated, his deep voice sending more and more shivers down my spine and nearly making me forget why I was there and what I was expected to do.
"Yes," I said as I pressed close to him again, the warmth of his body enveloping me like the softest cloak. I steadied his facewith one hand while I licked his ear and nibbled the lobe before whispering, "General Maximus, please co-operate.
This is dangerous for both of us. I have messages from Tribune Marcellus."
The general wrapped his arm around my waist and draped his right hand on my hip holding me close to his strong, muscled body. He nuzzled my neck and asked, "Which one is he?"
"Tall, thin, gray hair and beard over by the middle food table." I could barely speak, the slight caress of his beard and lips on my skin making me feel dizzy as the touch of a man had never before done.
He peered in the direction I had indicated while his hand caressed my hip as if by its own volition. He seemed satisfied with what he saw because he said, "Alright, Julia, I'll listen to what you have to say."

Somehow being in his arms felt so natural as if I had known his body for years. It was not as if I was seducing an unknown man but getting reacquainted with a long-time lover. I slid my lips along his warm neck and across his bearded cheek and captured his mouth in a quick kiss before nibbling on his bottom lip, then running my tongue along it. "We can't appear to be engaged in conversation, General, or we'll both wind up nailed to crosses," I breathed into his mouth.
I took his hand to lead him away from the door but General Maximus swirled me back into his arms and, before I could anticipate what he was going to do, he kissed my mouth passionately. In those days, I used to avoid being kissed as much as I could and was grateful when the men I serviced also preferred not to do it, the fake tenderness of their kisses far more hurtful than the selfish rutting I was forced to endure. But his lips were warm and soft and tasted of spiced wine and his own masculine flavor. His kiss was nothing like I had experienced before, the kiss of a man capable of great passion but also of sweet
tenderness, one of those rare men who do not couple but make love to the women they choose to share themselves with. And his kiss also proved that he was not used to the ones like me, for he made no distinction between a whore who was also a slave and a decent woman he may have come to love. It was that touching innocence coming from such a fierce warrior that lit the spark in my heart that the blade would soon become a blazing fire and change me forever.
Releasing my mouth, the general whispered, "What is the name of the man who contacted Marcellus?"I was breathless and could barely pronounce the name Marcellus had told me. "Claudius," I answered, my heart pounding so hard I was surprised he couldn't hear it.
General Maximus threaded his fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead then my eyes, cheeks and lips. "Lead the way, Julia. I do feel hungry again all of a sudden." His strong, callused hands framed my face as he smiled at me, his sparkling blue eyes the same colour of the warm waters of the sea, a sea in which I wanted to loose myself forever. I grasped his strong forearms afraid that my legs wouldn't support me, unable to speak or move. He caressed my hair and went on smiling and I felt my fears about the message and the plot dissolve and I returned his smile with a very genuine one. It was as if, being in his
arms, nothing and nobody could hurt me.

Hand in hand we approached the tables and while I busied myself selecting some food, he remained with the officers. I saw him clasp Marcellus' hand in his and exchange with the senior tribune what seemed to be pleasantries but I suspected was information related to the mysterious message I was yet to deliver. I allowed the general time enough to talk with Marcellus before going back to him.
"Here you are, General, a small sampling of everything that's good. The emperor's personal cook is excellent," I said sweetly reaching for him.
"Enjoy, General." Marcellus bowed slightly as I took General Maximus' hand again and led him to a free couch in the main room. He stood patiently by my side as I readied a table and a lamp and plumped up some cushions, piling them high for him to rest against. When he started to sit down I stopped him.
"General, that leather looks so hot and stiff. Why don't you let me help you out of it?" I said.
He obediently raised his arms allowing me to work the buckles and I smiled secretly for his was the attitude of a man not used to be handled by a woman. I was sure he had a male servant to attend him and I couldn't imagine him wearing silk tunics as those favored by Cassius or taking a scented bath as he did. As soon as the cuirass was off, I set it on the floor and stepped back to better admire him.

General Maximus now wore a simple wine-red tunic of light wool that barely covered his broad shoulders and fell to mid-thigh, held snug to his waist by a wide, leather belt. His muscled legs were bare except for the laced boots which covered his calves and I had to restrain myself from touching him. "It's very hot in here, General. Wouldn't you be more comfortable in sandals? I could find..."
He interrupted me. "I'm used to boots. They're fine," he said flatly. It was obvious he was a man not used to luxury but was content with the scarce comfort of a military camp.

"Whatever you wish." I sat down on a stool beside him and offered him a goblet of wine, well aware that the other women were looking enviously in my direction and that the general was studying me closely while he played with my hair. I fed
him small morsels and he kissed my fingers before I pulled them away, the touch of his lips awakening a strange tingling sensation in my fingertips. He ran his hands down my arms and I smiled trying to hide the turmoil his caresses were
unleashing inside me.
"Where are you from, Julia?" he asked softly.
"I was born in Rome," I said as I went on feeding him.
"You're a slave?"
I nodded avoiding his eyes. Somehow, up to this moment, being a slave had been so natural to me as it was having red-gold hair. But admitting my enslavement to this man unsettled me in a way I have never thought it could. Suddenly, I felt
dirty as I have not since I vacated the bed of that elderly senator six years ago.
"How did that happen?"
"I was born a slave, sir. I don't know who my parents are." I leaned forward and kissed him, a long lingering kiss, not only because I needed to feel his lips again but also to silence him. I whispered, "You ask too many questions," but he
persisted.
"How old are you?"
"I'm not sure. About eighteen, I think."
General Maximus sipped his wine and sighed as he went on studying me with his piercing blue eyes and I felt more and more uncomfortable under his gaze for I knew what he was thinking: that despite my fine tunic and expensive perfume I was no more than a slave and a whore, a woman so below him for he had the looks of a decent man who'd never force his attentions on a female slave as many did or sully himself taking a whore, no matter how beautiful or refined she was.

Although I was showing my back to Marcellus, I could feel his cold glare following my every movement and that of General Maximus. And although Cassius seemed engaged in serious love play with Honora I knew better and was sure he was also surveilling us.
Their gazes reminded me that I was in danger.
And him too.
Desperately trying to put an end to the unsettling situation and take him to a familiar terrain where I could be in charge and also to erase the suspicions about our behavior, I slid my hand up his muscled, hairy thigh and under the hem of his tunic searching for the male flesh I knew so well how to entice and pleasure. "I'm not making you happy," I whispered, but with lightning speed he grabbed my wrist to stop me, the calluses in his fingers rasping my skin and awakening a disturbing sensation that ran from my wrist to my breasts and down my belly. "Please, General. They'll know that something's wrong," I whispered
urgently. "I'm usually so good at satisfying men."
He loosened his grip but did not let my wrist go. "I'm married," he said quietly.
Married.
He was married.
My instincts had not failed me; he was not only austere but a decent man.
Somehow, at this moment, caught between serious danger and broiling emotions I had never experienced before it didn't matter. Time would prove that I should
have been wiser.
"So are half the men here. Cassius is married," I whispered back, my eyes pleading silently.
He sighed again. "Come here," he said as he pulled me on top of him. I straddled his strong, muscular body, my breasts pressed against his chest. One of his hands caressed my back then, again as if on its own volition, came down and did the same to my buttocks. With the other, he turned my face to his neck and his hot breath caressed my ear as he whispered, "Julia, I do not intend to risk your life. But understand this, I made a promise to my wife that I would remain faithful and I will keep that promise no matter how difficult it is for me, no matter how much I want you. Now kiss me then we'll go to one of those rooms at the back where conversation isn't so risky."
He turned his face to the side and captured my mouth again, his tongue boldly demanding entrance to my mouth and deeply exploring it when I surrendered. The kiss sent my senses reeling, a searing heat enveloping my body. I clutched his biceps as a drowning man clutches a piece of wood and when he tried to end it I didn't let him and firmly locked my mouth on his. I wanted him to go on kissing me forever, his lips and tongue devastating the defenses I had built after a life of enslavement and whoring. The heat and hardness of his lower body was clear proof that he was far from unresponsive. He was aroused... and so was I,
aroused as I had never been. Aroused as I thought I'd never be. When I withdrew my tongue from his mouth we were both panting heavily and he closed his eyes while he struggled to steady his breathing. I gently kissed his eyelids and murmured "Maximus," my voice husky with desire.
His eyes flew open. "Don't call me that," he growled, still breathing hard.
His deep voice was intoxicating.
"Why not?"
"It's too... too... familiar."
I couldn't stop myself and laughed at the candor of his remark. My laugh was careless like it had never been before, "Maximus, I'm lying on top of you. There is almost nothing separating our bodies, and you think calling you by your name is too familiar?" I kissed him again and, as he didn't answer my question, I took advantage of his silence to snuggle against his chest. I smiled a secret, knowing smile when I heard his heart pounding as hard as mine and when he wrapped his strong arms around me and held me tight it was my turn to sigh.
"Maximus," I whispered against his chest. "That name suits you. So strong. But so gentle". I lay still for a few moments before propping myself up to look into his handsome face, my fingers ruffling his thick, dark hair. Suddenly, I felt very young and careless and free. I felt clean. I felt that I could laugh and play and dream... that I could love and be loved. "Men aren't often gentle with me, Maximus. I don't remember ever being held before."
To my astonishment, he snarled. "You are one of the things that I intend to make Cassius pay for dearly." With that he rolled me off to the side and caught me before I could fall off the couch sliding one of his arms under my knees and the
other under my arms. He hoisted me up as if I weighed nothing and pressed me to his broad chest as he headed for a small curtained room in the back of the tent, stepping over or kicking aside anything that stood in his way. I wrapped my armsaround his neck, pressed my head to his shoulder and closed my eyes, enjoying for the first time in my life the sensation of feeling safe and warm and cared for.